Episode 1: Let’s Talk | Marriage Advice to Couples
Since we shoot weddings, I think it’s pretty fitting to discuss what comes after the wedding: marriage.
There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, but there is such a thing as a GREAT marriage! Susanna and I have been married for over 9 years, and I can’t believe next February 5th will the big 10!
I’m no marriage counselor, but I’m interested in the well being of a person as a whole so just wanted to share some tips to our couples on what has worked for Susanna and I the past 9 years!
One of the strongest things that has been working for us is our communication. Of course there are times it ebbs and flows, but generally, we have been pretty strong in this area.
Start proper communication EARLY in your marriage because big life events in a marriage such as children, new jobs, moving, etc. can really hinder an open line of communication simply because of the busyness and stress of said events.
Set INTENTIONAL time for talks. Particularly through date nights, especially because of reason number 1 above. Love is a CHOICE! Choose date nights; choose time to talk over work; choose “no phones at the dinner table.”
GROWTH happens in a person in many many different ways – bad & good. It’s of course important to first acknowledge these differences/changes that occur in a person (harder than it seems especially if you’re an extrovert like me and require other people to process things), otherwise the gap of understanding between two persons get larger and larger So that’s why a constant dialogue must be ongoing throughout the years because again, life and busyness happens.
People talk about the five LOVE LANGUAGES which I haven’t delved into too deeply yet so I won’t go into it here, although I know how profound it can be. For example, I didn’t know officially that one of Susanna’s love languages was gifts and that mine is words of affirmation. A simple acknowledgement and understanding of the love languages can setup room for intentionality and prevent future “hate language” HAHA. Not too sure about others, but not understanding and not talking through each other’s personality types has created years of contention for us. For example my extroverted side vs. her introverted side.
BOUNDARIES must be established early on. When to say yes and no to other people, especially your immediate family can be extremely difficult for various reasons, but also we need to learn within our own marriage which creates a healthy and open line of communication. There’s a whole book on boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. Read it.
As sad as it is, the truth is, many couples just do not talk to each other. I hear and read about it ALL the time. We have to protect our marriage because our world is broken because of broken families. It all starts with YOUR marriage! Hope our first and hopefully not last marriage advice to couples was helpful! Stay tuned!
For other tips related to your wedding day, check out here.