Episode 1: Let’s Talk | Marriage Advice to Couples

Since we shoot weddings, I think it’s pretty fitting to discuss what comes after the wedding: marriage.

There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, but there is such a thing as a GREAT marriage! Susanna and I have been married for over 9 years, and I can’t believe next February 5th will the big 10!

I’m no marriage counselor, but I’m interested in the well being of a person as a whole so just wanted to share some tips to our couples on what has worked for Susanna and I the past 9 years!

One of the strongest things that has been working for us is our communication. Of course there are times it ebbs and flows, but generally, we have been pretty strong in this area.

Communication Tips

1.

Start proper communication EARLY in your marriage because big life events in a marriage such as children, new jobs, moving, etc. can really hinder an open line of communication simply because of the busyness and stress of said events.

2.

Set INTENTIONAL time for talks. Particularly through date nights, especially because of reason number 1 above. Love is a CHOICE! Choose date nights; choose time to talk over work; choose “no phones at the dinner table.”

3.

GROWTH happens in a person in many many different ways – bad & good. It’s of course important to first acknowledge these differences/changes that occur in a person (harder than it seems especially if you’re an extrovert like me and require other people to process things), otherwise the gap of understanding between two persons get larger and larger So that’s why a constant dialogue must be ongoing throughout the years because again, life and busyness happens.

4.

People talk about the five LOVE LANGUAGES which I haven’t delved into too deeply yet so I won’t go into it here, although I know how profound it can be. For example, I didn’t know officially that one of Susanna’s love languages was gifts and that mine is words of affirmation. A simple acknowledgement and understanding of the love languages can setup room for intentionality and prevent future “hate language” HAHA. Not too sure about others, but not understanding and not talking through each other’s personality types has created years of contention for us. For example my extroverted side vs. her introverted side.

5.

BOUNDARIES must be established early on. When to say yes and no to other people, especially your immediate family can be extremely difficult for various reasons, but also we need to learn within our own marriage which creates a healthy and open line of communication. There’s a whole book on boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. Read it.

As sad as it is, the truth is, many couples just do not talk to each other. I hear and read about it ALL the time. We have to protect our marriage because our world is broken because of broken families. It all starts with YOUR marriage! Hope our first and hopefully not last marriage advice to couples was helpful! Stay tuned!

For other tips related to your wedding day, check out here.

Hey future brides & grooms! It’s Paul Kwak, your local Maryland, Virginia, & Washington DC wedding videographer/filmmaker!

Your photographer will tell you exactly how to pose, be, and how much to smile – with teeth, without teeth, just a smidgen, etc…..but what do you do in front of OUR cameras?

HAIR & MAKEUP/GETTING READY:

Many times we tell our couples to pretend that we are not there. During the getting ready portion of your day, that is a little easier to heed. The brides have to sit there and not move too much anyways, so we like the reality of those situations. If a bride is grinning from teeth to teeth while getting her hair did, that’d be scary….

COUPLES PORTRAITS:

For couples portraits and sessions on the wedding day, many times after the photographer is done with a specific pose or setup, I will tell you guys to simply “Hold that pose!!” and sweep right in like an eagle and get my shot and move on. Literally can take 2 seconds sometimes.

Sometimes I will ask you to simply walk towards me looking at each other (without tripping in front of a large rock of course or falling down a set of stairs – none of which has ever happened, thank God!)

Sometimes I will ask the groom to twirl his bride like a ballerina to have her dress catch in the air.

If there is a little more cushion room in your schedule, we’ll get you guys in some epic, vast landscapes….

DON’TS:

What you DON’T want to do is pose in front of our cameras the way you typically would in front of a photographer’s camera, namely looking right at the lens, smiling big with a lot of teeth. We do rarely ask you to do the aforementioned things sometimes, but many times the photographer’s pose on video will look just like that – a pose for the photographer. It definitely looks – I hate to use the word staged or fake, but…… not authentic.

BEING YOURSELF:

Even though some of the direction coming from us is technically staged, the words used from us are at a minimum, creating an atmosphere and room for you two to take over and be yourself in those moments. And it shows in our films because these moments seamlessly fit right in with our editing style and looks and feels authentic with the tone of our films.

Now there are also moments we do not pose, but direct you two to just be as well. These candid moments are gold simply because generally in a timeline of a wedding day, things can feel rushed and hectic sometimes. These moments stick out because they’re pure and everything else going on throughout the day temporarily becomes a blindspot.

SUMMARY:

So to summarize, you DON’T need to worry how to pose. Your photographer will direct you well and the photographers and us can piggyback off each other. A lot of the day is trusting your photographer and your videographer and that we’ll direct and ultimately edit your wedding day into the masterpieces they deserve to be!